the meaning of love for me

Growing up, I’ve always heard the word “love”. From nursery rhymes to reading the bible, you can get the idea of what is “love”. When I was in the age of having the romantic meaning of this, I always thought that love is between two people fighting against the odds, having strong emotions for one another, and a whole lot of cheesy things. I even thought that I’ve fallen in love once.

But what is love really?

Two years ago, I found the meaning of love for me.

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I thought I was ready
I saw you there and I thought I was ready, but no
“Is this a dream”, was the first thing I asked myself
I didn’t realize that I was smiling already
I didn’t realize that you were smiling back
“Why now?”,  I wanted to ask you
But I just stood there

I thought I was ready
I said hello but that’s all I can ever say
I wanted to tell you how much I’ve missed you
I wanted to tell you how much I was hurt
Heck, I was even looking forward for that day
Yet, I didn’t have the courage to speak up.

I thought I was ready.
Ready to face you, to talk to you.
Ready to start over again.
But then again, who am I to be ready for those things?

Blog Anniversary!

It’s been a year since my first blog post here. Must admit that this blog has been a huge part of what I am today. I am more comfortable in expressing myself, and I no longer keep my self back. I’ve learned a lot of things, and some even said that I listen more often, and its all because of this.

I may not be active as I used to be before, I am still very appreciative to some who still reads my blog. With the little vacation I had in Batangas, to my little birthday celebration this coming Saturday and many more memories to happen, please look forward for more entries!

It’s been a wonderful adventure with you guys. Hope we’ll last till the end!



Just want to say that yes I’m still alive.


Well, it’s been weeks since I last blogged about something so sorry hehe. BUT HEY on the bright side, I may update twice next week. Kkkkkk bye

5:30 am

The Bipolar's Diary

After weeks of staying away from you and the world, I have now came up in a conclusion, the last thing I ever wanted is losing you.

I’ve think about it. A lot. These past few days I wasn’t talking to you that much, now I realized why. I always fuck up keeping important people in my life. Now I know why. And I don’t want to lose another special someone. I don’t want to lose you. That’s what I thought.

4:30am and I thought, maybe I am afraid. I am afraid of the possibility that you will leave me. Afraid that you’ll find someone better than me. I am afraid that one day you’ll get bored of me and this and that. I was scared. I was scared of getting hurt. Everything’s going right so I thought something bad will happen, because every time something good comes into…

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the end.

2016 was shitty. The end.


I couldn’t say that 2016 was a blast, but it was slightly better than 2015. It was a pretty boring year, I guess? On the positive side, it was a good year of friendship for me. I may have lost someone the past year, God still gave me the biggest blessings I could’ve ever asked for.

Everyone knows that people suck at staying with me because.. well because I suck too. I never knew that God was planning something even better. This year, I’ve met new good friends I know I would cherish forever. I know, I know. Pretty cheesy. But it’s true!! This year, our batch had the bond no one could ever brake, my class had been the best side kick of mine, my beloved AWESHI (yie), Kim, Jherome, Abelo, Vince, Lancelot, Ken, Gab, Karl, Peter, Kiara, Mica, Bridgette, Shelly and Vianca, became more close regardless of the different schedules, MI LUVS, Anneza, Ally, Shelly, Vivi, Mikki, Gela and Drea, became sisters-by-heart in a span of months despite of the different groups we’ve came from, my best friend, Belle, well she’s still my best friend HAHA and I’m so thankful she never left my side and guess what? I’ve met internet friends!! Ate Angel, (I hope you’re seeing this) my first ever internet friend, you are my inspiration when it comes to writing. I always look up to you and I am always amazed by your writing. I love you!! Ate Gin, Fuji, Ange, and the rest of our group chat, I never thought that there would be a day I would meet lovely human beings like you who share the same interest as me. Iya, Jarry, Kah, Yesh, Ate Oshin, my closest mutuals, it has only been a month yet it seems like I’ve known you forever! I love you.

2016 had been a pretty weird for my addictions too. My love for pencils and notebooks came back, my addiction with reading novels and short stories came back aaaand yeah I joined a fandom, which is pretty unusual for me but I’m enjoying it.

It was a pretty good book, with a lot of stories to tell. But like any other stories, it must come to an end. For the last page of my 2016, I thank everyone who became part of it, everyone who made me smile, made me laugh, made me cry, made me feel anxious, thank you for the year 2016. And of course, to my one and only. God, I thank you for another wonderful year.

Happy New Year Everyone!! Cheers to 2017!! 🍻


p.s. feel ko talaga year ko ‘to, feel ko lang naman